Inside the Shadow Work

Have you ever just delivered a talk and you blew everyone away?

Well this happened to me last week. I had no idea exactly how my talk would flow. I just had a brief idea. I had 4 separate points and a possibility of how I would put these pieces together.

I just breathed into my body. I allowed my inner being to take control; I allowed my subconscious to take control.

As we prepared our order of speaking I was rather quite, but I knew the preparation we had undertaken in the few minutes beforehand, had moved something within me.

It came for my time to present my 5 minute talk. I was ready to embody my talk and not have the need for any written pieces.

I let the feelings overtake me and I went to places in my 5 minute talk that I had never been to before. I allowed emotion to flow. I didn’t dismiss anything that wanted to be said. I was raw and vulnerable.

At the end of my talk I had the feeling that I had nailed it. The look on the other women’s faces told me so. I had totally embodied my talk.

I was super proud of myself and I was on my little high for a short time, before the next talk brought me back to reality.

At the end of the evening, I was awarded the ‘snap shot’ talk of the evening and this blew my mind. I had just spoken from my heart, my soul with no barriers, completely exposed.

This is so powerful for me to hear. You see, I have shied away from being real and being truly vulnerable as someone maybe triggered or, in reality I reveal too much of myself. These are feelings that are held deep within me. This is my shadow side. The side that holds me back.

I am off to a women’s speak retreat this week and I am excited and nervous for what it will entail.

I will be asked to write and present a talk or two. I actually have no clue apart from this, but I will not hold back. I now understand and realise that vulnerability is a super power that I possess. I will be using it to the give that edge, because in safe settings my shadow side feels safe.